another new place

well. never been here before. forty two, single, childless, best-friendless, poor. extremely overweight, unhealthy, stessed out. dreamless. alone again all day on a saturday with no plans. no passion for anyone or anything. medicated, though, so not utterly depressed and despairing.

it's december 13th, 12 days before christmas and not one single decoration up. not one gift bought. not one card sent.

what's going on with me? what in the world?
every year i think it's going to get better--that this year will be different. that this year will finally be the one when i'll meet someone, lose weight, feel like i belong.

i hope i didn't give this blog site to anyone. would hate for anyone to read how pitiful my life is.

keep breathing. one day at a time. one foot in front of the other. keep playing the game. and pray for a miracle. please, God.